Does it feel like a father leaving his only daughter in a house that was once a home that no longer has running water. Does it rumble like a furnace hungry for oil. Does it look like an electric bill three months past due. I want to know what shape the fear of loss takes. What body does the fear of losing and losing again comedeer when it has already consumed the body in which it was created. I sit with young women, over hot cups of green tea, to unpack what has already been properly packaged for storage, for a day when we are all less busy than the busy we are now. It is hard to imagine a life without it. Both the it of being busy and the it of what is abandonment. The two, for us, are mutually exclusive. There cannot be busy without the intrusive thoughts of what has happened and what could happen, again. Again, we are too busy to cancel the what if out and replace such an if with anything else. Instead, what if sits like a child in an empty house, waiting for her father to come home.